Parents want the best for their children. They want their children to be happy and to develop the skills necessary to be successful in life. This desire can lead parents to put pressure on their children and teenagers in ways that aren’t best for their emotional and psychological development. It is very normal and natural to want the best for your child or teenager and to want to do everything possible to prepare them for life. There is healthy pressure and unhealthy pressure. Healthy pressure is supporting and encouraging a child or teenager in ways that are grounded in what is best for the child or teenager. Unhealthy pressure is pushing and coaxing your child into activities that don’t meet your child’s or teenager’s needs, but that meet your needs as a parent.
When I go into competition, I feel a ton of pressure to perform well for my team, my students and my husband, this pressure however does not come from them, it comes from ME! I can't image trying to perform with pressure being put on me by someone else.
I started training jiu Jjtsu about 9 years ago because I wanted to, not because my spouse or my parents or my friends wanted me to. I LOVE jiu jitsu! I enjoy training, no one makes me, no one puts demands on me, no one gets upset if I have a bad day. Yet...I train hard, I push myself and I compete really well! How can this be without anyone yelling demands at me or having huge expectations for me to perform well in a tournament? I compete well because I love jiu jitsu and I want to train hard and do my best and the only person I let down when I have a bad performance is ME!
Something to ask yourself as a BJJ parent...What are YOUR jiu jitsu goals? Are these goals yours or your kids goals? Is this YOUR passion or theirs? Have you done a jiu jitsu tournament or taken a class? Before you start putting pressure on them, you should, you may have a very different outlook on things if you do. For me when my son competes, I try to keep a calm relaxed attitude and just provide encouragement. BTW....my son does VERY well in competition and if he has a bad day then I am still proud of him for getting out there.
I know for me, I want my kids to train because it makes them better people and keeps them out of trouble, if they become World Champions too...well, that's awesome, if they don't, I am still proud of them for getting out there because I know from personal experience how hard it is to step out there in front of the crowd and give your best.
If you're kids are not having fun, enjoying training and feeling confident, they will not perform well, they won't develop a passion (or they will lose it if they already have it) and they will not want to keep training.
There is a high rate of burnout for young teenagers in sports. If they are filled with lots of pressure, they often tire of and quit the sports altogether.
STOP the pressure! Let them have fun! Let them enjoy jiu jitsu! They will be the best they can be if they love and develop their own passion for the sport!
~ Coach Leslie
When I go into competition, I feel a ton of pressure to perform well for my team, my students and my husband, this pressure however does not come from them, it comes from ME! I can't image trying to perform with pressure being put on me by someone else.
I started training jiu Jjtsu about 9 years ago because I wanted to, not because my spouse or my parents or my friends wanted me to. I LOVE jiu jitsu! I enjoy training, no one makes me, no one puts demands on me, no one gets upset if I have a bad day. Yet...I train hard, I push myself and I compete really well! How can this be without anyone yelling demands at me or having huge expectations for me to perform well in a tournament? I compete well because I love jiu jitsu and I want to train hard and do my best and the only person I let down when I have a bad performance is ME!
Something to ask yourself as a BJJ parent...What are YOUR jiu jitsu goals? Are these goals yours or your kids goals? Is this YOUR passion or theirs? Have you done a jiu jitsu tournament or taken a class? Before you start putting pressure on them, you should, you may have a very different outlook on things if you do. For me when my son competes, I try to keep a calm relaxed attitude and just provide encouragement. BTW....my son does VERY well in competition and if he has a bad day then I am still proud of him for getting out there.
I know for me, I want my kids to train because it makes them better people and keeps them out of trouble, if they become World Champions too...well, that's awesome, if they don't, I am still proud of them for getting out there because I know from personal experience how hard it is to step out there in front of the crowd and give your best.
If you're kids are not having fun, enjoying training and feeling confident, they will not perform well, they won't develop a passion (or they will lose it if they already have it) and they will not want to keep training.
There is a high rate of burnout for young teenagers in sports. If they are filled with lots of pressure, they often tire of and quit the sports altogether.
STOP the pressure! Let them have fun! Let them enjoy jiu jitsu! They will be the best they can be if they love and develop their own passion for the sport!
~ Coach Leslie
